Finding Nemo

I figure, as if I haven’t made it crystal clear, I should let everyone know exactly where I stand on the critically acclaimed and vastly disappointing mess of a film, “Finding Nemo.” Because it was so rejoiced in its sad time, I will make it my first scathing review. I had to see this movie, not that anyone made me, but I just thought anything Pixar and Disney produced, I simply had to see. I tried my very hardest to like this film, I praised it’s animation and the often hilarious Ellen DeGeneres, but still could not make myself call it good, or even fair. Basically, Nemo the only surviving son of Marlin, is a bratty little snot bag who disobeys his dad and gets “fish-napped” by a dentist in Sydney. His dad goes to rescue the unworthy whelp with the help of the forgetful Dory. The ridiculous characters along the way are enough to make an adult weep and gnash their teeth, and the anti climactic finish is less than impressive. Sadly Nemo does not get filleted (possibly the only thing that could have redeemed this sad tale) and everything has what I can only assume was supposed to be a happy ending. The only good thing about this movie is its impressive undersea animation, but I’m afraid that simply won’t do. I hope America can find it in their hearts to forgive the foolish studio Pixar for assaulting their very beings with this distasteful, revolting, waste of brain cells they so willingly forced upon us.

C-