The Forgotten

This movie looked good, and it wasn't. I could say that, and I would already have wasted enough time, but no as much as I wasted watching it. This movie has it's climax about four and a quarter minutes before the exact middle of the film, and from there it just sort of dwindles down until it's festering in its own little sorry pool of sick regurgitate crap. Telly is a woman whose son is dead. Then the memories of him start going away until everyone else is telling her that she is crazy and she never had a son. But don't you know it, they have just enough time to throw in the aliens who were doing experiments and still waste another 50 minutes with Julianne Moore running around with a furrowed brow and always saying something like I HAD a son. all in all, this movie was crap, there's really no way around it. I give it a half of a star only for the most surprising car crash shot I've ever seen, that was about my highlight.

D-

Cellular

This is going to be short. This movie was not one I had actually planned on giving the time of day, ever. A woman trapped in a room with only a smashed up phone, miraculously reaches a teen on his cell phone and convinces him to help her. I mean come on, how totally lame is this right? WRONG! It was surprisingly well done. It never really slowed down enough to let you start piecing together any holes there might be, and there were certainly a few, but over all, it worked quite nicely, and the fact that it looked so ridiculous only, made it all the more enjoyable to watch when it turned out to be good. Bottom line: if you haven't got any other movie to rent, get this one, it's worth a few thrills and some good laughs.

B

Ray

If anything, this movie can be praised for showing it like it really was. Jamie Foxx gives a career defining performance as Ray Charles, the sightless musical genius. But this movie isn't all great songs and the happy life of a musician, it was really dark, with constant depictions of drug abuse and sexual immorality. It was still good mind you, it just didn't try to put on a good face for the life of Ray. It ends right when his life got happy, that is right when he gave up heroine, and it was an inspiring story, it was just not something to recommend lightly. However like I said before, Jamie Foxx's outstanding performance, Ray Charles' incredible talents as a musician, and the skillful way in which Taylor Hackford shot and edited this movie makes it one well worth seeing, at least for those with stomach enough to handle the often extreme material.

B+

The Village

This movie received a lot of critical heat, it was contrived, they said, it was corny and obvious, this from the people who had viewers everywhere seeing Titanic five time a piece until it was the highest grossing movie ever, all TWA to say, they were wrong, this movie was good, in fact it was great. This, the 5th film by master of the silver screen M. Night. Shyamalan, follows the story of Lucius Hunt (Joaquin Phoenix) and Ivy Walker (Bryce-Dallas Howard, phenomenal in her debut) who fall in love while Libyan gin the cloistered village in Covington woods. The villagers never go into the woods, and the mythical creatures never come into the village. The previews mad it look like a horror film, but while there are some spine tingling jumps and wickedly intense scenes, the true story is about Lucius and Ivy. I can't really tell much more, but I can point out some good qualities. As always M. Night uses the camera to convey his messages as much as, if not more than, he uses his actors and their characters. The music is great, and the plot moves at an excellent pace, never dragging, and never rushing so fast that you forget to appreciate the solid performances by all, except one. The word solid cannot even begin to describe the performance of Ron Howard's daughter, Bryce-Dallas Howard. As the blind heroine who overcomes incredible odds all for her true love, Howard shows her deep talent for acting like few leading ladies in recent memory. The movie is fantastic, there is really nothing more to say, and while the critics would have you believe otherwise, just remember "Titanic" and immerse yourself in "The Village" as soon as possible.

B

A Series of Unfortunate Events

This movie, based on the popular children's books by Daniel Handler AKA Lemony Snicket was the obvious choice for a Christmas family outing, it's fun, and the kids outsmart all the mean grown-ups and blah blah blah. Pretty much it follows the paths of Violet Klaus and Sunny Baudelaire, three orphaned children with miserable lives, the books are funny in a twisted way but nonetheless enjoyable. I had high hopes for this movie, but underneath it all I really knew how it would be. I am sorry to say I was right. I'll start with the simple things like speed. The movie covers the first three books, understandable after all they're pretty short, but they cut the movie down to about 1 hour and 45 minutes, why not stretch it to 3 hours? Other long book adaptions have been long, Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, etc, why couldn't they let this last a while to let us savor the funny situations, and maybe give us some more character development. The costumes were just poorly done, they were supposed to be all fun and imaginative, but honestly, Violet with all her pleather boots and fisjnets look like a street walker, and count Olaf was always in one overdone costume or the other. All in all the outfits just didn't work with the story. But the one thing, the true downfall of this sad little movie was Jim Carey. If you've read the books you could have seen this coming, Count Olaf is a wicked evil man who is not funny, not bouncy, and want with everything in him to kill the three children with his own hands, and take their money. This sounds harsh, but that's the way it is, and the short sighted people in Hollywood couldn't see this they only saw money, and the appeal to idiots that Jim Carey has. He was all uppity, and happy, like oh yeah kids...I'm gonna get you...Better run away (wink, wink). He never once convinced me that he actually had ill intention, he just wrecked the role, and now that he's got a hold, he'll stay on board to wreck the whole series. There two good things in this movie, if you must know, and they were these: Jude Law as the Narrator, and Sunny the four toothed infant, that was about it. I sound like I'm exaggerating, but I'm not, the whole movie from the happy little beginning, to the rapid conclusion, which was out of place in the course of the story, lived up to it's name as just one long series (lame but true) of unfortunate events.

B-

House of Flying Daggers

If you saw last years "Hero" a spectacular martial art house film by the director of this movie, Zhang Yimou, you have to clear your mind of all expectations to see this one. Right up front, it's not as good as "Hero" or 2000's "Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon" but it's still worth the watch. The plot is more like an American plot, something of a love triangle along with many twists involving characters changing sides and betraying each other. These themes are set around the journey of two warriors, a blind girl named Mei (a once again fabulous Zhang Ziyi)and an officer(Jin played by Takeshi Kaneshiro) who uses her to find the location of a revolutionary faction known as the House of Flying Daggers, named after the warrior's knives thrown with deadly accuracy. The story is somewhat slow and never as complex a "Hero" nor is their such a heavy reliance on colors to tell the story, though the colors are vivid and breathtaking throughout. All in all the movie was good, just not as good as it's predecessors, it's simpler, the bottom line: rent it and watch it at home, just rent Hero as well.


B

Ocean's Twelve

This movie was such a breath of fresh air in a season of cheap holiday movies that O don't know if I will quite be able to express it. The entire gang is back, along with Catherine Zeta Jones who sizzles as Brad Pitt's love interest. The Plot is very complex, much like the first, so I will give it to you very basic: The thieves are given a short time in which they must return all the money they stole form Benedict, the owner of the casino they ripped off in Ocean's Eleven, with interest, a total of about $160 million. To get this amount of money in the amount of time they have the crew heads to Europe where chaos ensues as they pull a number of enjoyable stunts in the effort to get the money, and while their at it prove themselves over Europe's top thieve "The Nightfox" who, I thought, stole the show with his acrobatic ducking and dodging through the laser guarded lobby of the museum from which both parties are intedending to rob. Ocean's Twelve may not be the most solid story ever, but it's so much fun to watch that you really can't care, both the chemistry among actors, and the many, many backdrops for their exciting escapades make this movie a pleasure to watch, and easily one of this season's best.

B

Meet The Fockers

This review will be short because I haven't much to say. Jay Roach the director of this film is also the director of the Austin Powers movies, and while the original "Meet The Parents" had some crude humor it was nonetheless an enjoyable family oriented film. Sadly Meet The Fockers feel more like Austin Powers 4 as Roach makes all the jokes dirty, and abandons a decent plot to go with his prime instinct: Sexed up farce. The movie has few funny points, mainly Owen Wilson singing at the wedding finale, but few other goods can be found in this annoying tale of clashing personalities.

D

Spanglish

This Movie's only real strength is the performances, especially that of Adam Sandler who until now has played nothing but crude, lewd, and otherwise annoying characters. Sandler plays the father of the movie's dysfunctional family, including his wife who eventually has an affair, his daughter who struggles with school and being overweight, his son, and their often drunk and often funny grandmother, Cloris Leachman; the other great performance of the film. The story revolves around the life of their new maid, an illegal immigrant who knows little english but changes the lives of everyone in the family in one way or the other. Over all the movie isn't that bad, It's just not that good either, it leaves you feeling down in the dumps even with good choices made by the characters, it just feel awkward and incomplete.


B-