These are my opinions.

7.19.2005

Batman Begins



I've waited years for a good Batman movie, countless different movies I've watched, seriously, both live and animated, but I've never really felt fulfilled. This summer I was ready for that to change. I went, sat in the theater for two and a half hours letting Batman Begins fill my mind, and when it was all over I was ready to tell the whole world... "If you want to get so bored that your brain actually falls out your right ear, go see Batman Begins." Or rather, "if you want to ever have any kind of appreciation for Batman ever again, stay away from this movie!" It was like a two hour Batman history lesson; I don't care how he painted his suit, or why his cape does what it does, really, just show us the dark knight in action. As for that action, well let's just say I've seen better fights and chases in episodes of the Power puff Girls. The camera was everywhere, it was like a swirl of black and gray and suddenly Batman had beaten everyone. And then they bring out some "microwave" device that will supposedly turn all the water in Gothem to vapor, but how does it do this without blowing up all the people whose bodies are made up of like 80% water? I don't care if it's the original story line, the original story line sucks! I have nothing else to say except that besides a pretty creepy villain, this new attempt at Batman only left me feeling empty and used, and all I really wanted the "Protector of Gothem" to do was cough up the $6.25 I paid to waste two and a half hours of my semi precious time.

D

7.17.2005

Star Wars Episode VI: The Return of the Jedi


The Return of the Jedi is the final chapter in the Star Wars saga as well as my personal favorite. The film brings everything to a close in a well paced, exciting, and epic culmination of the characters and their different struggles for victory. It begins with the rescue of Han Solo, still in carbonite, who is now the favorite wall hanging of the ruthless alien gangster Jabba the Hutt. After this daring due Luke returns to the dying Yoda and learns that Darth Vader is in fact his father, and Princess Leia is his twin sister. Yoda passes away at this point but not before telling Luke that he must confront his father one last time. Meanwhile Han, Leia, and the rest of the rebels plan an attack on the incomplete new Death Star, which is also the location of the evil Emperor. The destruction of the Death Star and the Emperor would mean the victory of the Rebel Alliance over the Galactic Empire. Luke surrenders to Darth Vader and is taken before the Emperor who tries to turn him to the Dark Side. Han, Chewbacca, Leia and the droids go to the forest moon of Endor and destroy the generator that provides a shield for the Death Star. Lando, along with the entire Rebel force, leads a bold attack on the operational Death Star. These three stories are told simultaneously and the tension grows within each one, Luke must battle his father Darth Vader, Han and Leia break into the Shield generator, and Lando and his team wait for the chance to fly their assault on the dreaded space station. The movie ties these stories up spectacularly, and draws to a close with an ending fitting of the sensational six part series. I could go into all the things there are to say about these movies, how they revolutionized like everything ever, but that’s not really necessary, so I’ll just finish by saying that even with the first two wretched movies, these are some of my favorite ever, they are adventurous, romantic, visually thrilling, and epic in scale. People will hate them because they are so obsessed over by geeks the world over, but that doesn’t stop them from being great fun, and one of the icons of the American culture. Without a doubt one of the best conclusions of any film set, Return of the Jedi is a truly great film.

A+

Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back


The Empire Strikes Back is the fifth and penultimate film in the Star Wars saga, and the best way to describe it is to say that it raises the stakes on all levels. Han Solo and Princess Leia, whose relationship is aggravated, are forced to flee with Chewbacca, R2D2, and C-3PO, with the Empire hot on their tails. Luke must flee as well; the spirit of Obi Wan leads him to the Degobah System where the Jedi Master Yoda trains him in the Jedi ways. Darth Vader is continually consumed by his obsession with turning Luke to the Dark Side, and he captures the now romantically involved Han and Leia at Cloud City. Luke can feel the suffering of Han and Leia and he leaves before his training with Yoda is complete in order to save them. At Cloud City, Han is frozen inside a block of carbonite, a gray material, and Darth Vader gives him to the bounty hunter Bobba Fett who is out for the bounty on Han’s head. When Luke arrives at Cloud City Vader attempts to capture him in carbonite as well so that he can be taken to the emperor and turned to the Dark Side. Luke and Darth Vader dual through the dark setting of the city in the clouds and it is here that Luke learns the truth about his father, that Darth Vader is in fact his father Anakin Skywalker. (Anyone now knows it, but the way I here it, it was quite the shock back in the day.) Luke escapes with this horrible truth, and without his right hand, which is later replaced by a robotic one. Leia and Chewbacca are saved by Han’s old friend Lando. He was the ruler of Cloud City until the Empire took over, and he promises to go save Han. The movie ends here, with the fate of everyone hanging in the balance; Darth Vader continues his hunt for Luke, Han is still captive in the carbonite, and The Rebel Alliance is no closer to destroying the Empire. That’s the story, once again the special effects were amazing at the time, and the score by John Williams continues to get better with throughout the movie. Also like the last one, the strength of this movie is in its simplicity of construction, yet it’s epic scale and grandeur of story telling. As the title implied, this one goes to the empire, but don’t distress, because as great as this movie is, it’s not quite over yet.

A+

Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope


This was the first ever Star Wars movie, and to think of how far the series has come since then is mind boggling, but it wouldn’t have gone very far at all if it wasn’t such a great film. The story is pretty simple; Luke Skywalker leaves his destroyed home on Tatooine with Obi Wan Kenobi, his Jedi mentor in the ways of the Force and two messenger droids, R2D2 and C-3PO, in order to rescue the captive Princess Leia. Leia is a leader of an alliance of rebels against the evil Galactic Empire. On the way Luke and Obi Wan enlist the help of space cowboy Han Solo and his co-pilot the wookie Chewbacca. They infiltrate the dreaded Death Star, a moon sized space station with the power to destroy a planet, and rescue Princess Leia from the clutches of the dark lord Darth Vader. Before they are free of the space station Obi Wan is struck down by his former pupil Vader. (In a light saber fight that is not quite as impressive as their previous one.) Once safe, Luke joins a desperate attack on the space station and with the help of Han Solo destroys it, but not before Darth Vader escapes in his Tie fighter. Though Vader is still living, the Alliance can rest momentarily and Luke is a promising new fighter for their cause. That’s the story, it doesn’t sound like much, but it really is. It follows the format of the classic epics, and what with the Princess, the loner, the young hero, and the menacing villain, along with probably the most ground breaking special effects ever, This movie is really one of the best there is, and a great beginning to the concluding trilogy of the Star Wars Saga.

A+

7.13.2005

Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith


A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, George Lucas invented a whole new way of making movies. Special effects, re-introduction of scores rather than annoying techno music, and marketing ploys like action figures, lunch boxes, and t-shirts, all these and more were revolutionized by the ambitious young filmmaker. The Star Wars Trilogy was without a doubt one of the most prominent milestones in filmmaking, and with good reason, they were and remain to be some of the best movies ever made, until recent enstallments. George really got himself between a rock and a hard place with this the sixth and final Star Wars film. The original three, the second half of the story, were so amazing, and the two new prequels so underwhelming, that everyone had pretty much given up hope. I’m here to say to the geeks, like me, who hoped against all odds to be blown away once again, the fat lady sung, as it were, and it was a heckuva song. Having seen this film no less than five times, I can say that it is not simply a euphoric glee for the long coming end of the space opera, but rather a renewed love for the universe of people, places and things that fed my imagination for so many years as a hopelessly geeky child. The story is not as complicated as the previous two, and it is much darker, to the point of earning the until now avoided PG-13 rating. Oh well, it was worth it. The galaxy is at war; the film begins with the rescue of the supreme chancellor Palpatine, from the inspired droid warrior General Grievous, and the quickly killed Count Dooku, the leaders of the separatist armies. The rescuers are none other than Anakin Skywalker and Obi Wan Kenobi, back from the clone wars in hope of catching the military leader, Jedi Killer, and long desired dead, General Grievous. However Grievous escapes and with Dooku dead is now the chief leader and a much more prominent target. Anakin and Obi Wan return to Courescant where Anakin learns that his forbidden wife Padme is pregnant. Though this is good, Anakin is soon haunted by nightmares of Padme dying in childbirth, and he fears for her especially when he thinks of his past inability to save his mother. The supreme chancellor Palpatine, endowed with emergency powers similar to those of the president’s in a state of emergency, fills Anakin’s mind with lust for the power to save his wife. While Obi Wan is distracted with the hunting down of General Grievous, Anakin becomes more and more worried to the point where he will do anything to save Padme. This is when, shock of all horrors, Palpatine reveals himself to be the dark Sith Lord Darth Sidious. This is the point of Anakin’s dilemma, he knows that the Sith are evil, but his frustration with the Jedi Council, along with his fear for the life of his wife cause him to turn from the Jedi way confused and manipulated by the dark powers of Palpatine. Things get darkest here as Anakin and Palpatine lead the extermination of the Jedi across the galaxy, from the seasoned warriors to the young children in training. Obi Wan kills Grievous just in time to run for his life from the clone troops who will obey any order given by Palpatine. Palpatine, who is scarred from his encounter with the Jedi Masters, sends Anakin to the volcano world of Mustafar, a sort of planet hell, to kill off the various leaders of the separatist armies. This will end the war, which served its purpose of putting the chancellor in ultimate power. Yoda and Obi Wan, the last of the Jedi, fight their way into the massacred Jedi Temple and learn the truth, which is that Anakin has turned to the dark side. Yoda goes to confront Palpatine, who at this point has seized control of the Republic with promise to reorganize it into the “First Galactic Empire, for safe and secure society.” Meanwhile Obi Wan is forced to stow away on Padme’s ship as she goes to find Anakin on Mustafar. The climax of the film is the two light saber duals, Yoda vs. Palpatine, and Anakin vs. Obi Wan, which are both extraordinary in totally opposite ways, and presented simultaneously as the ultimate battles of good vs. evil. But there’s never any real hope for the audience because we know the outcome. Anakin, angry and power hungry falls at the blade of Obi Wan, after loosing three limbs and being consumed by flames at the banks of the flowing lava on Mustafar, also, Yoda is beaten by Palpatine, and he escapes into hiding. Anakin is left for dead, but he holds on until his master, Emperor Palpatine, rescues him from the cusp of life and death. This is the point that nearly thirty years of fan hysteria, countless viewings, and awed wondering have led to, Anakin is saved from certain death as he is rebuilt into the menacing black, half man, half machine, Darth Vader. The process takes place at the same time that Padme gives birth to twins, not really that much of a shock to us, and she names them Luke and Leia. Sadly Padme dies in childbirth, alone and depressed by the dark path of her husband. This is the final straw, the pain and failure to save the one he loves causes the end of Anakin and the complete transformation into the ruthless Darth Vader. The film ends as Luke and Leia are split for their own protection from their father. Leia goes to Alderan, adopted by the leader Bail Organa, becoming Princess Leia Organa. Luke is taken to his Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru, Anakin’s half Brother and his wife on Tatooine, there Obi Wan stays in hiding looking after Luke until he is old enough to know the truth.
This is where the film ends, and though there are still three more chronologically, the choice to end here is a good one as it is the highest point of drama in the entire series. And that’s the end of the new trilogy. This movie is such an improvement on the previous two that it is really hard to point out any one thing, but suffice it to say the acting is uniformly better, the script is punchy but not annoying, at least most of the time, the action sequences are astounding from dog fighting space ships to epic light saber duals, and the story is so much better than anyone expected that this final installment lives up to its name and has earned its place in the Star Wars galaxy. True not many people thought George could do it, I certainly didn’t, but I’m happy to say that I was proven entirely wrong. George has returned to the beginning, in story and in style, and he’s managed to end his six part epic with a dark grace, filled with powerful, and sometimes poignant images, breath taking effects, and a flare for adventure that we are all reminded we once loved so much. After much consideration, I know that I really love this movie, bravo George, you've definately got it back.

A

7.11.2005

Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones


This movie, the fifth released Star Wars film, but second in chronological order was, I'm glad to say the last of the low point in the series. Everyone knows the whole background, so I'll just give a quick skim of the plot, which for such a stale, and poorly acted film is, like Episode I, really more involved than anyone would like to give credit for. Ten years after the events of Episode I the galactic republic is struggling with a massive amount of resistance star systems forming a separatists movement led by the ex-Jedi Count Dooku. An attempt is made on the life of now senator Padme Amidala. For her protection two Jedi knights are sent to be her bodyguards. These Jedi being Obi Wan Kenobi, and Anakin Skywalker, who in the past ten years has grown much bigger and now looks the same age as Padme who is in fact five years older than him, but hasn't really aged at all since Episode I. Anakin starts having feelings for Padme, and is haunted by thoughts of his mother who is still a slave. He grows more and more confused, as well as arrogant due to his great skill in the force. However Chancellor Palpatine, who takes a keen interest in his skill of the force, befriends him. While trying to identify the assassin who attacked Padme, Obi Wan Kenobi is led to the mysterious ocean planet of Kamino, where he discovers that an army of at least 1.5 million clones of the bounty hunter Jango Fett has been produced for the republic at the ten year previous request of the long dead Cypho Dias. The mystery surrounding the unknown army grows as Obi Wan discovers that Jango Fett is in fact the Assassin. Padme and Anakin, hiding on Naboo, fall in a very wooden dialogued love. They resist and swear off their love because it is forbidden by the Jedi order for a Jedi to fall in love. They do however go to Anakin's home world of Tatooine in order to save Anakin's mom, they don't though, rather she dies in his arms and he massacres the sand people responsible. Then they go to answer a distress call sent by Obi Wan, but wind up captured by Count Dooku who has also snared Obi Wan on the planet Geonosis. Though armies of Jedi knights attempt to save the three captives in a gladiator style arena of combat, there is no other choice but for the ever idiotic Jar Jar Binks to initiate a vote giving Chancellor Palpatine emergency powers in order that he might allow the use of the clone army without a vote of the senators. When there is no hope for the remaining Jedi on Geonosis, Yoda arrives with battalions of clone warriors to save the day. While the massive battle rages, Anakin and Obi Wan pursue Count Dooku but are beaten in light saber combat. Anakin loses an arm at this point. But don't go yet, because in the last ten minutes there's just time for Yoda to show up and out of no where unleash some crazy whirling and twirling of his light saber against Count Dooku. Although Yoda is great the fight is drastically short lived as Dooku pulls a quick one, escaping back to his master Darth Sidious. The movie ends here, with Dooku still lose, an all out war of clones versus separatists launched, and Anakin still confused and angered by his inability to save his mother. Finally, after their near death experience on Geonosis, Anakin and Padme give in and are married in secret, against the orders of the Jedi Council. This is the end of Episode II. Strong points are that it was shot entirely on digital cameras (the first film to be done so) and this helps the incredible special effects a great deal. A magnificent score by John Williams is introduced as the romance theme, and the movie for the most part doesn't leave you board. Weak points, however are that the acting sucks big time, Anakin is whiny, and as for chemistry between the love leads, yeah, it's non existent. This is strange as Natalie Portman has nothing short of blown me away in every other role she's played, and Hayden Christensen was great in "Shattered Glass."The script is also equally bad which accents the poor acting all the more. I can't say much more besides that thankfully after this one, the series takes offto the amazing heights that it is known for.
I'll end here because I really want to get to Episode III so as a last word of advice, see this film because it is set up for the rest to come, but realize that it barely better than the poor beginning presented in Episode I, and it melts to nothingness in comparison to the rest of the Star Wars series.

B-